Boundaries – Misperceptions

Sometimes, a small group leader refuses to set proper boundaries because it feels wrong. Consider the two most common misperceptions about boundaries:

Misperception #1: Setting boundaries is selfish.
Misperception #2: Setting boundaries hurts people.

Let’s begin by addressing the first misperception. Far from being selfish, setting boundaries is simply good stewardship of the relationships to which God entrusts to each person. This does not mean you’re neglectful or unloving, but without saying “No” at certain times, you will burn out.

The second misperception is a natural way of thinking, but we need to train ourselves to realize that most people are respectful of the leader’s time and commitments. The group just needs to know! Rather than hurting people, a leader who sets boundaries actually makes him or herself available in a healthy way. Proper boundaries create space where relationships – all relationships – can flourish.

Remember, we do not expect you to be equipped to deal with every potential problem raised within the group, such as drug addiction, major depression, domestic violence, etc. If an issue is above your ability or experience, please let us know immediately so we can help.

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